Stocking stuffer?

So here’s an exciting Christmas gift tip for all those people who shop obscenely early! Sadly, I don’t celebrate Christmas, or I would definitely have the iPod vibrator on my list. And by “on my list” I mean it would be the only thing on the list. Haha.

I don’t see how this vibrator – or any vibrator – is particularly empowering, unless the thought of getting off to your “recently played” list is empowering (and it isn’t, to me, since most of my recently played list consists of gym songs like Kylie Minogue’s “Fever.” Eek.)

And now, a look at what is on my iPod…Beach Song?

Woke up this morning it was 1969 and I was tangled up
like Christmas lights around an old girlfriend of mine
We'd watch the east bring up the dawn, race west and drink
our kisses as the sun sank down to drown within the sea.

Seasons came and seasons went, love got made and love got meant
Wake up late to pass out spent, play all day and pay the rent
And things were finally starting to make sense, the world was ours to save
And every day it seemed like it could last forever”

Except for that part about you’re pretty good but you’re not great…that’s no good.

Before He Cheats?

Right now he's probably slow dancing with a beach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey…

Hmm, this song kinda gets to the heart of why anyone would be using a vibrator in the first place, which is to say, again, a strike.

There’s 50 Cent getting his jealous groove on in Best Friend, assuming you want 50’s voice in your ear ever…

Maybe Don’t Stop? Who can say it better than the Brazilian Girls, don’t stop, don’t stop, just keep on going until I…yeah, well.

Endless Summer Nights? And I remember how you loved me, time was all we had…I remember every moment of those endless summer nights…which is also sort of depressing, actually.

ESPN Radio? Why the hell do I have this podcast?