Poor Moves

So the first time I heard Maroon 5's This Love (incidentally, not sung by the band), I thought the lyrics were...well, inappropriate. Also a little ungenerous, considering that the singer seems to be complaining about how demanding his girlfriend is in bed. But what do I know about it? Nothing!

Then along came Kiwi. After I first heard it, my friend turned to me and asked, "Was that about..." The answer, I later discovered, was yes. It was about. That. But also, in a way, kinda hot, especially since most oral sex songs since Leonard Cohen tend to focus on, well, not the girl. "Here's a guy who wants to go down on you!" says Kiwi. "How great!" (There are some songs by women MCs but let's be honest, those raps sound like something you'd hear from the Head Warden in prison when she catches you stealing cigarettes out of her back pocket.)

Anyway, my point is, TMI has always been Maroon 5's style and it was ok, because they were kinda dorky and energetic and overall good for you, like musical vitamins. But now here's Adam Levine (and let's be honest, he was always a little too into those girls in the videos considering as they were paid models) complaining about Maria Sharapova's sexual habits. No offense, but it's not so endearing when the names haven't been changed and he's clearly nursing a grudge over the breakup.

I feel as if - and I may be wrong - guys often worry whether girls are discussing their sexual behavior behind their back. And although we do, it's usually in a complimentary or advice-seeking way. Bitching about your ex's lack of talent, in any department, may be a part of breaking up, but I always thought it was in really bad taste. Especially when you live in the public eye. Also, it's a poor strategy if he ever wants to have a girlfriend again. I won't suggest, although Jezebel does, that Maria's lack of enthusiasm had anything to do with Levine's lousiness as a lover. He may be awful, he may be great, what's more likely is that they were just a poor combination.

But also, Maria's only 19 years old!! Maybe she's no porn-stunt-performing Paris Hilton, but what does he expect from someone who's only been above the age of legal consent for 3 years??? He's 27, which means he's been disappointing groupies and girlfriends for a decade, and he has the balls to insult some young girl? In the newspaper?

It takes some shine off Kiwi, that's for sure.