Between a keg and a hard place

Yet again, I've come across an article about Laura Stepp's Unhooked. For the unaware, Stepp's book is a condemnation of today's hookup culture. According to Stepp, young women who have casual sexual encounters (what counts as a sexual encounter in Stepp's view? Holding hands?) soon find themselves on the fast road to misery and disappointment. Stepp, who clearly scribbled the book on napkins in between handing out brownies at a chastity ball bake sale, recognizes young women for the lost lambs they are. She's not alone. Newsweek ran a story a few months back about the "Girls Gone Wild Effect." Although the writers did nod at parental responsibility, the mag cited a long tradition of "women behaving badly," starting with Queen Elizabeth I. Newsweek dubbed her, "The virgin queen who slept around." In Queen Liz's footsteps came Britney, then Paris, then Lindsay. The result: 10-year-olds flirting with boys and singing songs with the word 'sexy' in the lyrics.

Excuse me if I don't rush off to buy the entire Left Behind series. As a college student, I feel someone has to get a word in edgewise about the common theme these articles share: that somehow, girls are being manipulated into bringing sexyback. Yes, we live in a sex-drenched culture, but is it really possible that we're getting so much more action than our parents did in the free-loving 60s? For that matter, than our tight-laced grandmothers did in the 40's and 50's, or our swag-sporting great-grandmothers in the Golden Age of the Flapper?

Give me a break. Women have been sleeping wherever they want since Cleopatra first rolled herself in Caesar's carpet. The difference is, nowadays, Paris Hilton can talk about Carl's Junior without feeling the least bit ashamed. I admit that maybe young women have more sexual partners than in the past, but don't blame that on Lindsay: blame it on Friendster. These days, even the janitor has MySpace, and it's no longer so hard to go where everybody knows your name.

For a lot of people, casual hook-ups are fun. More importantly, college is supposed to be a time of experimentation. Women have more power, greater voice, and more numerous options than at any time in the past. Those options come in all shapes, sizes and levels of stylishness. And for girls who don't appreciate the love that dare not call in the morning, there are still plenty of options. Most of my friends don't sleep around. Those who do know what they're doing.

That said, there are pitfalls and drawbacks to any casual encounter. If a girl falls for a guy who thinks of her as "that eight-hour period between the Keg and Sunday brunch," she's in for a world of pain. But getting your heart broken is as much a part of college as co-ed dorms and late-night talks about breast size (a popular subject for both guys and girls). My advice to all these people: let it go. Socrates once said, "know thyself." In the process, you may get to know a lot of other people as well. But didn't another wise mystic once advise us to "love our neighbor"?

The caveat: alcohol makes people do regrettable and unwise things, and these things have serious consequences. I'm not trying to deny that. But with the freedom to explore our limits comes the freedom to make occasional tragic mistakes. People have been trying to learn from their mistakes since the dawn of time.