Germany's Kinder Cousin, and Battle of the Bulges

So when I was 7 years old, my parents told me that India, much like the United States, had once been a British colony. I was too young for cursive, but old enough to know how the world worked. I asked, "Why did the British get so many colonies?" My mom answered, "well a couple of hundred years ago all the countries had a competition. Each country built a boat, and the country that built the fastest boat got to colonize the others. The British built the fastest boat."

For many years I was satisfied with the BBC Kids version of the story. It's a kinder, gentler colonization tale than children in ex-colonies learn. That story goes like, "they stripped our country of its natural resources and denigrated our culture and history for hundreds of years." As you can see, no mention of boats.

The Dutch proved the exception. Around the early 1900s, as a result of widespread Dutch protest, the government instituted "the ethical policy." The softer side of colonialism integrated native and white populations in schools, and gave native elites access to certain resources. Interestingly, the Dutch were also the only people who made a countrywide effort to hide and protect their Jewish citizens from Hitler's police during World War II. Coincidence, or are the Dutch just better people than the rest of us?

On another note, this week is our college's first Sex Week. The College Fems have been touting the event for months. They put cutesy posters all over campus with slogans like, "Sex Week is coming. Are you?" Gosh, girls, it takes more than a poster to get me to that point. Unlike at Yale, where Sex Week features a "panel of porn stars and stripping lessons from a Playboy Channel hostess" (A hostess? What? Are we businessmen at a gentlemen's club in Tokyo?), our Sex Week promises "discussions on the 'sin of sodom' and the effect of sexual arousal on decision making."

The 'sin of sodom'? It's Sex Week, and we can't even call it by its real name? Furthermore, what is with this discussion BS? How does a discussion put anyone in the mood? Fore-conversation? After-discussion glow? I have another suggestion. I say, take a page from the Dance Marathon book. They're our most successful campus organization. Rent out the student center for 30 hours. Get a DJ, themes, costumes, videos, the works. Even a light show, or a not-so-silent auction! Just like dance marathon, except no dancing, and people don't have to stand up the entire time! We could call it Sex Weekend, because who needs a whole week? Certainly nobody who's been on the quarter system! You choose your own partner, but it's probably best not to ask your parents for a donation.

Sex toy and condom giveaways can take place as planned. At the door.

For once, NU can become a forum for people to actually have sex, rather than just talk their way around it.