Suburban Sex Kittens

Imagine how surprised I was to see an article about pole-dancing in the New York Times. Not because I think it's inappropriate, but because nearly a year ago I wrote the same article, discussing pole-dancing among young women.

For three months I interviewed exotic dancers and their students, attended shows and took classes. In fact, I took a three-hour long class where I learned several different routines and moves for the standard striptease. I thought it would be awkward to get down with a bunch of strangers and, say, hump the floor (or roll my ass, or whatever the hell else) but it wasn't. In fact, ever since, I listen to the Pussycat Dolls while working out. So one could say it changed my life.

But on the other hand, I didn't feel any sexier than normal. I felt a lot freer, that's true. One young student told me, "it taps into your body's natural way of moving." I studied classical Indian Dance for twelve years, ballet for four, jazz for several months...but they all felt like work, like I was training myself to do things my body wouldn't naturally do. In an instant, the striptease felt comfortable and natural. But that's because it isn't as much a dance form as a way of physical expression. So I expected it to come more easily.

The NYT article claims the women in these classes learn to "unleash their inner sex kitten." Here's another trend I discovered: these claims, usually made by peddlers of exotic dance programs, are a little bogus. The women who loved the striptease class were women who felt confident about their sexual beauty. The women who hated it were the ones who didn't, and the class itself didn't really change that dynamic. But perhaps this is mindset? I didn't ask how much the girls wanted their minds to be changed. It's really a psychological question. Women who seek out these experiences fall into two types. Ones who love their sexuality and want to express it, and ones who are afraid/insecure about their sexuality and want to get over it. But a class can only teach you to move. It can't teach you to think, and it can't teach you to feel.

And then there is the final question: many women love their sexuality and just don't express it through dancing, not even for close friends or lovers. It's not how they see themselves. Do these classes promote an unfair standard of sexuality by suggesting that all sexually active, uninhibited women must enjoy exotic dance? To be honest, I had a lot of fun in the class, but that's all it was: pure fun. We laughed, because if you take yourself too seriously when you're tottering around in a men's shirt and platform heels, you just feel cheesy. For some women, theatrics are ridiculous rather than erotic. As with all activities that claim to empower women, the women who don't enjoy it will feel left out, leading to a somewhat one-sided "hotter-than-thou" Pussycat Dolls-style empowerment for the ones who do.