90.

In the course of my day (which includes: eating, visiting with friends, sleeping, reading, job searching, editing and yoga - this list makes me sound far more productive than I am) I found this amazing website. It's like Photoshop, for people who have no fucking clue how to use Photoshop (Don't be ashamed if you're one of these people. I still have trouble with 'layers.'). I gave myself various makeovers, which I can't post in the website's gallery (one of the conditions of posting there is that these not be facetious, and mine are, ahem, facetious) but which are still frightening.

Here I am:
Looking like Lance Bass (or, Sanjaya, once he figures out how to grow facial hair and chops off those Hanson-esque locks)(Ignore that weird hair boa around my neck - it's a remnant of the shot I originally cropped.)

Here I am, channeling Mary Jane Watson.

Yikes. And finally here I am, as a stylish Communist sympathizer, or a French exchange student with an accessories fetish.

And that's enough time wasted. The most amusing part of this entire episode is how the photos capture "before and after" shots. The Flash technology is pretty sophisticated, but I can't imagine how anyone could benefit from this kind of impersonal online butchering.

On another note, though, I think I have my holiday cards for this year. I am thinking of replacing the message on the little note with something like:

"Dear XXX,

I know it's been a while since we last met, but I wanted to let you know that I've undergone sex reassignment/assumed a fake identity/joined the People's Movement. I thought it was time for a change. Hope to see you soon, and please drop me a line if you're ever in Vegas/incarcerated/atop the Great Wall. It'd be great to catch up!

Happy Holidays!

Your friend,
A.

P.S. Let's not lose touch again!"